Monday, December 10, 2012

Confession 2: Winking and all that it implies

Disclaimer: I am in no way putting down or speaking ill of the online dating scene… I am a part of it and simply want to share some of my stories. You never know, I may just meet my “match” while writing this blog!
In 1,000 words or less write in this box your hobbies and something that makes you you!
Awesome… 1,000 words. I am so interesting; I will use up at least 999 of them.
I am a teacher Darn it, that is my life in a nutshell.
I love reading I’ll say I enjoy the classics, but really I prefer a trashy romance.
 I graduated from The University of Florida in 2011 with my Masters in Elementary Education
That’s right bitches! Go Gators!
That’s got to be at least 50 words… 22 shoot.
I love going to the beach and dancing. I bet no one else will put the beach; I didn’t put long walks on the beach so it’s not cliché at all! And it doesn’t matter that most of my dancing is done in my car.
If you want to know more you’ll just have to ask me :)  YES!! That makes me look mysterious and it will make them talk to me. GENIUS.

AAhhh the making of the online dating profile. I guess to be fair; no one said it would be easy. Honestly though, you’d think talking about yourself in great detail would be a piece of cake. I struggled for at least an hour on what to say to 1. Make myself standout without 2. Sounding completely cheesy, sketchy, or awkward. Not an easy feat my friends. In any case, after I slapped together what was a completely alluring and non-awkward (2 things that have never been used to describe me) profile I closed my laptop with a guilty “click!” and darted my eyes around the room. Had I really just made an online profile?? Was I honestly going to go out on a date with a strange man in a strange city? Not likely!
So, I did what made the most sense and entered into a state of denial about online dating. I ignored the first wave of guys emailing me, “viewing my profile”, and commenting on my photos. I stuck my nose in the air at all of them. “What pathetic men!” I thought, “Online dating… really?!” Facepalm… I had created an online profile so I online dated. Get over yourself Amanda, plus I had PAID for this. A teacher’s salary does not let good money go to waste and so I began to explore…
Enter: The Wink. As I began to view other’s profiles I became more intrigued. There were even a few that I may have “liked” ...had we been on Facebook.  This was though! How was I going to let these men know that I may have been interested in their online dating persona? The Wink. That’s how. My favorite part is that it isn’t just any wink, it’s a FREE wink. Remember the earlier mention of my teacher salary? Well this is every teacher’s dream… FREE. Never mind the fact that I have to pay a monthly membership, it says FREE next to it so I was getting every drop of FREE out of it.
After I whittled down the men that I deemed to be “wink worthy” I began to get nervous about what The Wink actually meant. Did it mean I wanted to have dinner? Make out? Booty Call? Date seriously? Get married? I researched this answer but none of the FAQs even came to close to answering my burning question. Was I really the first one to think of the implications that a virtual wink could mean?! Aren’t there thousands of other females on this sight over analyzing every virtual step they take?! Who even winks in real life?! What does it look like when he “receives” my wink?! Am I winking now or is that just a twitch I have developed from thinking too much about ONLINE WINKING?!
 After I went clinically insane and came back to planet Earth, I picked 1 guy who I would send The Wink too… I took a deep breath, poised my finger over the button, and clicked….
Congratulations! Your Free Wink has been sent! Now he knows you’re interested!
What a lucky dude.

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