Tell us what your perfect first date would be!
Well that is a crazy question. It depends on the persona I wish to give off! Some options might be:
The Bachelorette Date: Pick me up on the roof of my apartment building in a helicopter. Fly me around the city showing me breathtaking views of Atlanta at night. Land at some restaurant that has been rented out for the night and sweep me off my feet by being completely compatible with me and give me a red rose at the end of the night which is of course a symbol that we are meant to be…
The Worldly Date: Take me to a concert or festival in a park where we sit on a blanket and drink wine. Dance like we don’t care and even join in with the crazy hula hoop people that are at every music festival. Give me a flower that you pick at the end of the night showing me that we are completely in sync and already know each other’s souls and of course that we are meant to be…
The Sporty Date: Take me to a local sporting event. Have amazing seats that I would never be able to get. Buy me a foam finger, hot dog, and beers. We get on the kiss cam which is completely embarrassing, but maybe a little cute. At the end of the night give me the little hat that our shared ice cream came in showing me that we are completely for each other because of our mutual love for sports and that we are meant to be…
Wow. I don’t know why I don’t have more first dates.
My monsoon and margarita date went really well. Louis and I had a lot to talk about and he didn’t seem to mind the leaves stuck to my legs or my crazy rain hair. We hit it off and by Friday he was asking me out on date two. I was really excited; I had never been on a second date before! And then I remembered… I had never been on a second date before! What was I doing? Was it going to be worse? Was it going to be different?! What were the expectations on a second date?! What if we didn’t have anything left to talk about because we had talked about everything on the first date?!
Louis asked me to go to a comedy show with him on Saturday night. I was really excited about it, but I was also freaking out. Humor is a really personal thing and what if we didn’t think the same thing was funny? I was going to have to practice my fake laughing. Well miracle of miracles that date went well too!! I wasn’t just getting good at emailing and texting, I was getting good at in person contact too! I was a lean, mean, dating machine!
This blog is called “Confessions of a Dateaholic”. We’re here to talk about my dates, not my relationships. Louis was important in my next steps in becoming a dateaholic though so I don’t want to short change the 2 months that we spent together. I have decided to write the next portion of this blog post in Spark Note style complete with a character list, chapter summaries, chapter analysis and summaries. Not only can you learn about my relationship, you can have a nostalgic high school moment. You’re welcome.
Louis- Amanda’s first online dating encounter. He seems interested and he and Amanda get along well.
Summary and Analysis
Analysis: I sleep a lot. I hadn’t really noticed until this trip when it was pointed out the number of naps I took, including during the races (They’re 300 laps! Can you blame me?!) and earned the nickname Grandma Jean. I am a teacher, I have to be up early, its hard work, sorry I’m not sorry that I enjoy a good nap. Louis’ friends were awesome and I seemed to make a good impression on them. We can all agree that it’s best if you get along with the friends of the guy that you’re seeing. Point- Amanda.
Family: As it has been stated, my family lives in Florida. Louis’ family lives in the Atlanta area. It wasn’t long into our dating that he asked me to go with him to meet his Mom at her house on a Sunday. On top of that stress he told me to bring my bathing suit, just in case. Ummm are you kidding me?! I have to meet your Mom for the first time AND you’re going to see me for the first time in my BATHING SUIT?! Are you trying to send me into full on panic attack?! Men don’t understand the bathing suit anxiety and luckily I didn’t have to worry about it, because we didn’t end up going swimming. Dodged that bullet. I met his Mom, Dad, and younger brother that afternoon and it seemed to go really well! We can all agree that it’s best if you get along with the family of the guy you’re seeing. Point- Amanda.
My sister came into town and Louis had the chance to meet her and they also hit off. We made plans to drive down to Gainesville for a UF football game so he could meet the rest of my family.
Analysis: If you bring a girl to meet your parents, you’re probably dating. If she gets along with them, that’s probably a good sign. If you make plans to meet her parents and are planning on traveling to get there, you are probably dating.
DTR: DTR stands for Define The Relationship and is used to talk about that ever important talk you have with the person you are dating to see if you should define it into something more concrete, like “you are my boyfriend and I am not seeing anyone else”. DTR is super important in online dating. It is a tricky conversation in any relationship and even trickier when the person could potentially be being sent 24 “New Matches” a day by Match.com. I tried being the cool chick and didn’t push to DTR what Louis and I had. I am so cool and laid back that I didn’t need to DTR. Instead I took things like, meeting his parents, going on weekend trips, spending all weekend together, and planning to drive to Gainesville to meet my family to mean that we were in a relationship. Silly me!
Analysis: NEVER think you are cool enough to not need to DTR.
The End: I didn’t do well in chemistry in high school. I passed, but barely and with a lot of help from after school study sessions. I didn’t know that 7 years later this would come back to haunt me. The first lesson I learned the night it all ended was that when I drink I get brave. Not good. Asking questions about matches past is never going to bring you anywhere you really want to go, as hard as your alcohol fogged brain tries to convince you otherwise. I should have known when I asked “So how many girls did you take out before me?” that it would lead to opening a can of worms that I didn’t want to open.
The second lesson I learned was that men and women see things very differently. Duh, I know. It was made crystal clear to me this night however as soon as the fateful question was out of my mouth. I was the only one he told me…. But he had been talking to other girls. In fact, he had just told a girl only a week ago that he couldn’t talk to her anymore because he wanted to see me exclusively. Hold. The. Phone. A week ago?! Is this supposed to be making me feel better because I am about to stab a bitch right about now! He was so casual about the whole thing and I was starting to reach full on bat shit crazy mode.
The third lesson I learned was that you should never cook someone breakfast if you had a fight and haven’t DTR'd. I was so busy still trying to be cool and nonchalant about DTR that I MISSED ALL THE SIGNS THAT CAME MY WAY! I made him breakfast and when I finally got the courage to DTR with Louis he dropped the zinger on me. “We just don’t have chemistry”. Oh. I’m sorry. You didn’t know this before breakfast?! Throw it up now! And because he wasn’t done with the zingers he shot this one at me too, “I really like you. We should still be friends”. Sure. Sounds great. Not.
Analysis: Pay attention in chemistry and don’t make breakfast before you DTR.